ART OF SUCCESSFUL PARENTING
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The 10 Principles of Good Parenting
1. What you do matters.
2. You cannot be too loving.
3. You Be involved in your child's life.
4. Adapt your parenting to fit your child.
5. Establish and set rules.
6. Foster your child's independence.
7. Be consistent.
8. Avoid harsh discipline.
9. Explain your rules and decisions.
10. Treat your child with respect.
When Parenting Styles Clash
Make Some Decisions in Front of the Children
Agree to Disagree on Small Issues
Support Each Other in Front of the Children
Be Positive When Kids Question Differences
If your children wonder aloud about your different parenting styles, let them know it’s OK that you don’t agree on everything, and that it may help you both parent more effectively.
Aim for Consistency After A Split
Tips to Parent Your Shy Child
Work with your child’s natural shyness to improve coping skills.
Every child has bashful moments. Some kids, though, are shy.
Can you simply let your children be shy, or do you need to "bring them out?"
“You can do both,” says Christopher Kearney, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas.
Shy children may not become social butterflies, Kearney says. “But you can still help them learn how to function in social settings and build relationships.”
How shy is too shy?
In general, there’s nothing wrong with being shy. Shy kids are often better listeners and get in less trouble at school.
Being bashful becomes a problem when it gets in the way of doing what’s normally expected, or when it’s making your child unhappy. You may want to get professional advice if your child:
- Doesn’t want to go to school
- Has trouble making friends
- Frets about going to birthday parties or sports practice
- Is anxious about being shy
What causes shyness?
Shyness is pretty common. It’s estimated that between 20% and 48% of people have shy personalities.
Most shy kids are simply born that way, although negative experiences can also play a role. Did your child’s shyness come on suddenly? If so, an event might have triggered it, and they may need help getting past it.
Embracing the shy personality
Tips for helping a shy child
Provide an entry strategy. Help your child approach a group of peers and listen, allowing everyone some time to get used to one another. Teach them to find a break in the chatting and join in. Offer talking points beforehand, such as, “I like boats, too.”
Build confidence. Remind her of a time when she was in new situations and got through it. When going to a birthday party, for example, bring up another party you went to and how much fun she had with the other children.
“Help them through challenges that are self-reinforcing, so they want to do them again,” Kearney says.
Work on social skills. Give your child chances to practice his social skills whenever you can. In the store, encourage him to pay the cashier. At dinner, have them order his own meal. Invite a friend over to play so your child can get more practice being with peers.
Offer feedback. Praise or reward your little one for small steps, like saying “hi” or waving. If they freeze up in front of someone, talk about it. Discuss things she can try next time.
Express empathy. Tell your child that you can see they're feeling shy, and that you feel that way too sometimes. Share stories about times when you overcame your own shyness.
Model outgoing behavior.